yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
