My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
