You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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