Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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