i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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