the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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