Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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