Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
