I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Randomize
