I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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