She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
