she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
