My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
