she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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