girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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