Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
