I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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