I don't remember. Are we still dating?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
