This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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