so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
