never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
