Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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