I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
