return my video game
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
40s are totally the cure
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
