Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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