Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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