It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
