so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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