yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
