I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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