Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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