i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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