New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We talked him into tasing himself.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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