i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im holly from the hills drunk
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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