I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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