there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
