I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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