We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
