then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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