I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I didn't notice because vodka
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
