just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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