Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
