i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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