The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
