Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
