Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
