6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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