bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
