I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
