Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Blood and glitter go together right?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
