my sisters under your porch take her home
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
