i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
